Seriously?

Only took nine months.
Nine months to realize your not perfect.
Not the same but not all together different.
One chance.
That's all there is.
I won't be her again.
I won't be hurt like that again.
I won't let you.
Or anyone.
It sucks though, I thought you were so much better.
I'd hoped so much I wouldn't have this feeling ever again.

The difference over a year makes.

I can't believe its  seen so long since I've written here.
So much has changed, I've changed so much.
I have a boyfriend, have had him for four months now.
He's amazing, so good for me.
He makes me feel so good about myself and makes me want to be better for him.
I'm madly in love with him.
He's moving in with me and my roommate in a few weeks.
:-)

2012

Is fantastically better then 2011.
Just leaving it at that for the time being.
But everything is wonderful and great.
Just waiting for the bottom to drop out.
Hoping with everything it doesn't.

Why.

Why do I think I need someone.
Why do I have to feel loved to feel happy?
When can I just be?
When will I be fine with who I am?
When will I stop crying myself to sleep?
After 31 years you'd think I'd learn I'm not even good enough for me.

Ray Bradbury

“Some people turn sad awfully young. No special reason, it seems, but they seem almost to be born that way. They bruise easier, tire faster, cry quicker, remember longer and, as I say, get sadder younger than anyone else in the world. I know, for I’m one of them.”

(you.)

I'm not really sure why I'd thought I'd hear from you.
I should have known I wouldn't.
Didn't really prepare for you not to call me.
I should have known.
Don't call me now.
I will tell it we are over, I can't be your friend only when you need me.
This has been one sided far to long.
When I most needed you.
I tried to be there for you when you needed someone.
You never replied.
I'm done.
I'll think of you always.
I love you.
Good-bye.

Drained.

A five minute texting conversation with ones mother should not be so draining.
Just putting it out there.